Sharing Authentically
What I learned about sharing authentically.
1. My default way of being is to withhold my feelings like there’s something hugely important that I need to protect. When I do this, I am on the defense. I become silent in a way that is menacing and sullen, for anyone smart enough to notice. For everyone else, I show up as nice—but not kind. There is a resistance emanating from my heart. And it takes a bold person to snap me out of it. Fortunately, I’m starting to see the effect, and am more and more willing to receive the assistance.
2. Having the opportunity to share what I experience emotionally without someone trying to fix me or make things better is an enormous blessing. I can’t get over how powerful it has been to give myself permission to feel the negative feeling completely with the help of someone who simply reflects what’s there for me. The solution I need arises organically from my heart when the emotion has passed. And I get a sense of freedom in my soul and a strong sense of connection with the one who listens.
3. Going for a walk is magical. Especially on a bright spring day when the sky is blue and a gentle breeze makes all the new leaves wave. Being with someone helps. And talking is not required for happiness to start.
4.The best action anyone can take when I’m stuck is to invite me to do one task NOW and get me to promise to report when I complete it. Telling me to just do one thing at a time doesn’t work. Asking me what I am willing to do and then challenging me to go do it as soon as possible, is much more successful. I find myself accomplishing more than that one task and I actually feel good about my progress.
5.I get empowered when I write authentically. My writing is a release valve for me. As soon as it is out of me, I get a sense of completion and I move on with ease. So when someone like Amy Coone tells me “Get off your ass!”, it actually works! What DOESN’T work is when someone shows pity for me after the fact. At the same time, I recognize that what I write affects other people. Feedback is important! I am willing to take responsibility for my words, even if that means editing the post or dropping it altogether if it gets in the way of somebody’s progress. I just ask for clarification of what might be upsetting or offensive.
1. My default way of being is to withhold my feelings like there’s something hugely important that I need to protect. When I do this, I am on the defense. I become silent in a way that is menacing and sullen, for anyone smart enough to notice. For everyone else, I show up as nice—but not kind. There is a resistance emanating from my heart. And it takes a bold person to snap me out of it. Fortunately, I’m starting to see the effect, and am more and more willing to receive the assistance.
2. Having the opportunity to share what I experience emotionally without someone trying to fix me or make things better is an enormous blessing. I can’t get over how powerful it has been to give myself permission to feel the negative feeling completely with the help of someone who simply reflects what’s there for me. The solution I need arises organically from my heart when the emotion has passed. And I get a sense of freedom in my soul and a strong sense of connection with the one who listens.
3. Going for a walk is magical. Especially on a bright spring day when the sky is blue and a gentle breeze makes all the new leaves wave. Being with someone helps. And talking is not required for happiness to start.
4.The best action anyone can take when I’m stuck is to invite me to do one task NOW and get me to promise to report when I complete it. Telling me to just do one thing at a time doesn’t work. Asking me what I am willing to do and then challenging me to go do it as soon as possible, is much more successful. I find myself accomplishing more than that one task and I actually feel good about my progress.
5.I get empowered when I write authentically. My writing is a release valve for me. As soon as it is out of me, I get a sense of completion and I move on with ease. So when someone like Amy Coone tells me “Get off your ass!”, it actually works! What DOESN’T work is when someone shows pity for me after the fact. At the same time, I recognize that what I write affects other people. Feedback is important! I am willing to take responsibility for my words, even if that means editing the post or dropping it altogether if it gets in the way of somebody’s progress. I just ask for clarification of what might be upsetting or offensive.
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