What I want in a relationship


Maybe it’s time to start thinking about what I want in a relationship.  At this point, it’s sort of easy to point out what has been missing. First, there would need to be a genuine interest in who I am, what I have on my heart to share, and what makes me excited about getting up in the morning.  There would be an attempt to listen to my perspective, and perhaps even challenge me in a way that make me shine better than before. There would be encouragement, with positive criticism and respect, without ridicule. There would be an openness and depth that is accessible at any time. And a relationship with God would be part of the equation.

Humor and freedom of expression could remain, but not by diminishing my personality.  Love would show up in a way that I feel inspired to expand according to my gifting rather than compliance toward an idea that seems directly opposed to who I am. And I would finally get the opportunity to experience myself as desirable.  Adventure and spontaneous joy would be every day occurrences. Good health habits and intellect are important. Rugged good looks, height, athletic build and sex appeal would be bonuses.

Emotional courage would be essential.  My new partner would have the guts to tell me when things are starting to go awry.  We would be able to talk about issues when they are manageable instead of staging a crisis.  I would want to hear the words “I’m not happy” at least six months before having my heart ripped out of my chest so I have the chance to do something useful.  

Honesty would be greatly appreciated.

Vulnerability.

And trust.  

What’s a relationship, really?  Without trust?

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